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I used to see minimalism as a very extreme thing, reserved for single people living in a small flat without the need for much excess. I never thought it would apply to me—a mum in her 30s with two small children and a business she’s trying to run from home. 

That was until two years ago when I found myself heavily pregnant with our second baby. This was after years of infertility and multiple baby losses.

I was so excited and so equally terrified at how our life was about to change yet again, when I was already feeling so overwhelmed by the stuff in our home.

It was then that I started reading more about minimalism, and I slowly started decluttering. The change was clear—maybe more so to me than to those around me—but I accidentally found myself a minimalist. 

In this article, I’m sharing with you seven lessons I learned from two years of becoming a minimalist of some sort.

Keep reading below or watch the video:

1. The levels of minimalism will fluctuate, but the intentionality matters. 

The funny thing is, this point where we are right now might not be the point where we had the least amount of stuff in our lives. 

A few years back, we moved country. We we living in Romania, and we did a massive declutter before moving to the UK. That was in 2019.

We moved into this tiny flat in London, and we actually didn’t have that much, even though we had a toddler at the time. And that was simply because the space didn’t allow it—not much storage space, tiny bedrooms, the typical London flat. And so, we just didn’t keep much, and I found that I didn’t really miss a lot of things.

But then we moved into a bigger house because we always thought we needed more space as a family. That was true to a certain degree. But I always felt like we needed more storage space.

The thing that happened when we moved into a three-bedroom house was that we started filling it with stuff.

And that’s how I ended up heavily pregnant and really overwhelmed with all the stuff in our home. Just feeling like I can’t get on top of it—as much as I tried to tidy and organise, it just never felt like I was getting there.

Nowadays, I’m more intentional about the clutter in my home. I’m also more aware of how it affects me. This awareness helps me be more mindful of what I bring in. I do think my mindset has become more minimalist. Even though we have a few more things now. That’s because we have two children, not just one, compared to when we lived in that tiny flat in London.

The levels of things in our home will constantly change because we go through so many different phases of life. We might have no kids, or one kid, or three kids, and that influences the amount of stuff we need. And also, everybody has different definitions of what being a minimalist means. But to me, it’s more about being intentional.

I just wanted to feel content in my home and be able to manage it with greater ease. I’m in a busy season of life and simply don’t have the time or energy to handle all the stuff.

Maybe when I’m older, maybe when my kids are all grown up, I will have more mental energy to dedicate to the items in my home. But right now, this level of minimalism has been a huge help. It’s brought so many benefits to my life—like being able to be more present with my kids rather than focusing on the stuff in my home that’s stressing me out.

2. I was using shopping and organising as a coping mechanism.

I also realised that I was using both shopping and organising—and doing little projects around the house—as a coping mechanism for a long time.

When we had our first baby loss during those infertility years, I remember—even now—I filmed a video. I was just so heartbroken, and I needed something to keep both my hands and my mind occupied.

So I went out and bought a whole bunch of organisers. I then filmed a kitchen “Organise With Me” video. When I was editing it, I realised my hands were still covered in bruises from where I had all of the IVs when I was in hospital after the baby loss. 

Though I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with using things like this as a coping mechanism, I realised afterwards that there might have been better ways for me to cope—ways that wouldn’t have affected me so much in the long run.

Impulsive shopping and acquiring a bunch of things, in particular, aren’t usually solutions that benefit us long-term. Not that there’s anything wrong with organising or getting absorbed in a project like that.

This is just something I learned about myself: how I tend to use certain activities as a coping mechanism.

I found that I enjoy getting absorbed in a project like this, especially because it provides immediate results. For instance, when organising a cupboard, you can clearly see the before and after, especially if you take a picture. I realised I love organising things. But I also want to be more mindful of how I use shopping. It might be a way of coping, and that’s not always the healthiest approach—depending on the situation, of course.

3. Taking my time with home improvement works best for me. 

Through these past few years of minimalism, I have really learned to slow down. 

Sometimes, we move into a new place and want to instantly make it feel amazing, getting it to that end picture we have in mind. But it’s also nice to live in the space for a while, to see exactly what we need from it—what areas are working and what’s not working.

We bought this house about one and a half years ago, and we are still slowly decorating it. I’m still taking my time. There are still things we might want to do here and there. But I’ve found that slowing down has been really helpful.

We’ve slowly done things like painting rainbows in the kids’ rooms. We painted a wall in their room and added some lamp fixtures in my son’s bedroom. We also added the dining table and a little wooden topper to our TV unit as I felt like it would bring some warmth to the space.

Purchases like that, especially big ones like furniture and décor, can be quite expensive. But slowing down with them and being more intentional means that there will be fewer regrets later on. Not that it’s perfect—we make mistakes, we might want to change things—but if we take our time with it, it’s less likely we’ll regret them afterwards.

4. I don’t need huge storage spaces.

About two years ago, we were in a rental house while looking to buy our first home here in the UK. When we were house hunting, we had our list of non-negotiables—things we had to have. One of those was a garage. I just thought, “We’re a family of four, we need a garage! We have stuff, and we need a place to put it all.”

But at that time, I was also deep into my decluttering process. As we started sorting through the things in the garage of our rental, I had a realisation. Most of them were items we didn’t actually use or need. The garage had become a ‘storage graveyard’—a place where we kept things just in case, but never used.

…And yes, we had a few seasonal items, like Christmas decorations, that we used once a year. But much of what was in there? We didn’t really need.

As I decluttered, I realised we weren’t actually using most of our garage space. If you’re familiar with the UK, you’ll know that most people don’t actually park their cars in their garages—something like 90% of people use them for storage instead. And we had been doing the same.

But by the time we started house hunting, I had already made a lot of progress in decluttering. When we found the house we’re in now, I noticed something: it didn’t have a garage. It had some loft space—not a ton, but enough. And we came to see that having more living space was way more important to us than having extra storage.

So, we actually removed a garage from our list of non-negotiables. And we haven’t regretted it. We do still have storage in this house, just not as much as we thought we needed. 

And honestly, I think that sometimes, having a garage can be a bad thing because it just invites clutter. It’s so easy to toss things in, let boxes pile up, and ignore it all because it’s “out of sight, out of mind”… until the day you finally have to tackle it.

5. It’s not about the numbers.

Despite what some YouTube comments might say—those that insist you need to own a specific number of items to truly be a minimalist—the reality is that we all have different lifestyles. Just because you own more than an extreme minimalist doesn’t mean you’re not applying the mindset of minimalism. It also doesn’t mean you’re not being intentional about what you keep.

For example, when my toddler was younger, I aimed to keep her wardrobe simple—five T-shirts, five long sleeves, five trousers, and so on. But now that she’s started nursery, it turns out she actually needs a bit more. I have to leave a few spares at nursery, and by the time she comes home, she often needs a full outfit change.

What I’ve found is that it’s so easy to add more when I truly need it. If I find she needs extra clothes, I can quickly grab a few secondhand pieces from Vinted without spending much. So, minimalism for me isn’t about sticking to an arbitrary number—it’s about intentionally finding the right balance that works for our lifestyle.

6. Saying NO becomes so much easier.

Whether it’s a bargain deal or a cute home decor item that catches my eye, I can leave it behind without hesitation now—something that wasn’t always easy for me. The same goes for any purchase we consider; we take our time, think it through, and avoid impulse buys.

Decluttering was a huge eye-opener. Hauling bags of stuff out of our house—things we had spent money on but didn’t truly need—made me realise how often I was buying on impulse. 

Some might say decluttering is wasteful, but I see it differently. In my Simply Decluttered program, I’ve seen this shift happen for so many people. Once you clear the clutter, you start recognising why it built up in the first place—and that awareness naturally leads to buying less in the future. That’s how you break the cycle and create real change, both in your home and your budget.

7. The regret never came.

When I started decluttering, I had this fear that many of us have. I thought I’d get rid of something and miss it months later. But after two years of decluttering—letting go of 50% of our belongings, including about 80% of my wardrobe—I can’t name a single item I regret giving away. Honestly, I don’t even remember most of what I decluttered. It was excess, things I didn’t need anyway.

Minimalism isn’t a quick fix for everything in life, but it does make you so much more intentional—about what you own, what you allow into your home, and how you choose to spend your life.