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I spent most of my 20s wishing for the things I have now—a cosy home, a caring husband, and small children to run after. But when I finally got everything I had dreamed of, even after years of infertility—don’t get me wrong, I was grateful—I found myself drowning.
Life felt chaotic; my home felt like a constant struggle to keep up. Toys everywhere, constant laundry, never feeling like I was truly on top of it. I was completely overwhelmed.
I knew something had to change, so I started to declutter.
Was it easy? No.
But did I at least know what I was doing? Also no.
I didn’t have a clear plan; honestly, I wasn’t sure where it would take me. I felt guilty for getting rid of things I once wanted, that I had spent a lot of money on, or things others had given me. But the amount of stuff I had was just overwhelming.
So I just kept going, little by little. I was determined to find clarity in all this chaos.
I went through sentimental stuff and realised the memories were not in those 20 bags of baby things stuffed in the loft. Sometimes, keeping just a small collection of curated items actually brought me a lot more joy than having so much stuff that was stressing me out.
I looked at the gifted items and realised that the loving person who gave me a gift didn’t intend for it to be in my home forever. Just because I get rid of something that I’m not finding useful right now doesn’t mean I love or appreciate that person any less.
I looked at all those “just in case” items—you know, the ones we keep for years in our garage but most likely would never use again.
Throughout the process, I did find this uncertainty: is this ever going to have a finish line?
Sometimes it felt like it would never end. (Hint: it does end at some point.)
In the beginning, I also struggled with finding places to take the items I wanted to get rid of. I wanted to do this responsibly. But I found charity shops where I could donate my no longer-needed items. I used Vinted, eBay, and Facebook market to sell or donate things. I tried my best to give my items to somebody who would actually appreciate and enjoy them, someone who would love those items more than I did at that moment.
There are also a few things I found through decluttering…
One of the things I discovered was more energy for my kids. I spend less time cleaning, organising, and moving useless items around my home. Owning less is better than organising more.
With this newfound energy, I finally tackled all those little home projects I always said I would get to, like painting my baby’s room.
I also found more time to dedicate to things that bring me joy, like working on improving my video skills for my YouTube channel. Plus, I gained more mental space to pick up habits that added more value to my life than physical clutter ever could, like running or reading more.
Even so, in the back of my mind, I had this fear that one day I would regret it—that I would look back on all the items I decluttered and think, “Oh man, I wish I had kept that.” Funnily enough, that regret never came, at least not so far. It all made sense when I read about how humans are psychologically loss-averse.
We perceive the pain of losing something twice as powerful as the pleasure of gaining something. That’s why decluttering is hard.
But once I had a good look at what I was gaining versus what I was losing in this decluttering process, it all became clear.
As I continued to declutter, things started to change. My home felt lighter, and more spacious — even though the space was the same. The overwhelm began to fade, replaced by a sense of calm. I could finally enjoy the cosy home I had dreamed of. I had fewer distractions and could focus more on my family and the hobbies that truly brought me joy.
Decluttering wasn’t just about creating space in my home; it was much more than that. It wasn’t easy, but it truly changed my life.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or like something is missing, instead of trying to add more to your life or your home, what you might really need is to remove things—to get rid of things and make more space for what truly matters to us. I encourage you to start small, and I think you’ll be amazed to see where this takes you.
