This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I make a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Disclosure here.

We don’t often talk about money as it’s still such a taboo topic. Yet we look around and we think everybody else is doing so much better than we are. But I think the more we learn from each other, the better. Money is a tool, and it’s something that impacts all of our lives. 

I’m not a financial expert, but a mum in her 30s living in the UK while trying to make sense of her finances. Going from being a major shopaholic and in debt to being more of a financially responsible grown-up. 

In this article, I’m sharing some financial decisions we’ve made over the years. They have helped us become more and more financially comfortable. See if any of these are helpful to you too. 

Keep reading below or watch the video:

1. Klarna or payment plans are not your friend. 

When you shop online nowadays, there are so many things you can buy with Klarna or other payment plans. And technically, there’s nothing wrong with spreading out the cost, but I found that it can be such a trap. 

Payment plans can easily lead to buying more than you can actually afford. Over time, that’s unlikely to have a positive impact on your life. It’s so easy to accumulate lots of small credits without even realising it when you keep buying little things on payment plans.

Looking back, I know that a lot of the purchases I used to make weren’t necessary. They were things I convinced myself I needed, but I really didn’t.

So now, when I go to online clothing stores, if I can’t afford to buy that piece of clothing right now with the money I already have saved in my account, then I can’t afford to buy it. Maybe I can look for something else. Or I might just skip the purchase altogether.

2. Don’t avoid looking at your finances. 

This is something I find really tempting, especially when getting into difficult situations or slipping into debt. 

I know that in the past, when I had months where I was shopping a lot and buying aimless things, I’d actually avoid checking my bank account or looking at my finances because I didn’t want to see it. I just didn’t want to know. And there is this saying that ignorance is bliss, but not when it comes to finances. All those decisions and purchases eventually add up.

What I’ve learnt is that sometimes I just need to rip the band-aid off. Open the account, look at my finances, and make a plan. It doesn’t mean I’m never going to shop again; it just means I’ll be more conscious about it. And that actually makes me feel better about the shopping I do because I’m not spending aimlessly or feeling guilty afterwards.

For me, making a list of expenses (yes, that nerdy spreadsheet) has been so helpful to see where our money goes each month and how I can maybe optimise. It helps me spot things we don’t really care about but are still paying for, like forgotten subscriptions (which happens a lot!). 

Looking at the expenses, at the bills, any debts you have — it’s all part of it. The only way to make a change for the future is to really know what your situation is right now.

3. Credit cards are not free money.

As much as it might feel like it, having a credit card doesn’t actually mean you have more money. Even though your balance might appear positive, as if funds have been added to your account. The truth is, if you spend more than you earn each month, you can quickly get into a situation that’s not ideal. And the more credit cards you accumulate, the harder it becomes to pay them off.

In our case, when we used to have debt and a loan, we started by paying off the one with the highest interest rate, even if the amount was smaller. That helped us clear it first, and then we moved on to the next bit of debt.

I think credit cards might work a little differently in Europe compared to the US. However, for us here in the UK, I honestly don’t find them necessary. Yes, there can be perks to using a credit card. But unless you’re extremely disciplined — paying it off in full each month and making sure you never slip into overdraft — it’s just not worth the risk.

Personally, I feel much more comfortable spending the money that’s actually in my account, rather than what I don’t really have yet.

4. People who look rich aren’t always doing well. 

I think especially nowadays, with social media, it’s so easy to scroll and see all these different lifestyles that look so different from yours. You see influencers doing huge shopping hauls, living in massive houses, driving brand-new cars, or showing off the latest phone they’ve bought. There’s nothing wrong with any of those things — but it doesn’t mean those people are doing better than you.

What you often don’t see behind the scenes is that, if they’re influencers, many of those items might have been gifted. They didn’t actually buy them. And for you to go into credit card debt to get those same things just isn’t worth it. Maybe they did buy that car, but it’s on finance, and they now have big monthly payments for the next few years. Or maybe they’ve travelled a lot, but they paid for those holidays with a credit card.

What it really comes down to is not comparing yourself to others. Just because someone looks like they’re doing well doesn’t mean they actually are. 

What’s helped me is reminding myself that I don’t need to do any of those things. I don’t need designer bags, flashy cars, or a brand-new wardrobe every season. I just need to focus on my own goals — like paying off our mortgage early, or travelling with my family in a way that feels sustainable. 

When I stay focused on my own journey and the goals I have for my life and family, it becomes so much easier to step back from all the comparisons.

5. Appreciating and depreciating assets.

It took me a while to realise the difference between these two. 

For example, take a house and a car. When you buy a house, it’s usually an appreciating asset, meaning its value tends to go up over time. It might increase a little or a lot, but it’s unlikely to drop drastically. On the other hand, when you buy a car, it’s almost certain that within five years its value will have gone down quite a bit. So, one is more of an asset, and the other is more of a liability.

This is why we decided not to have any monthly car payments. Having a brand-new car in the driveway doesn’t really add that much value to our lives. Instead of putting that money towards a car payment each month, we’d rather use it to pay off our mortgage early, travel, or do other things that matter more to us. 

When we bought our car, we saved up and paid for it outright. It wasn’t brand new — it was second-hand, just a few years old — but still in great condition. I’m hoping it’ll be a reliable car for a good while. We don’t plan to change it unless something major happens. That’s just what we’ve chosen to do when it comes to cars.

6. Shopping aimlessly doesn’t make life better. 

When I started making money in my twenties, when I got my first proper job, I was so excited to shop. My thought process was, well, I have this money in my account, so I can just buy the item if I really like it.

In the long run, however, that wasn’t very helpful. I ended up with a wardrobe full of clothes that, firstly, I didn’t wear all that much, and secondly, were such a waste of money that I could have used in better ways.

To be honest, I think I got lucky. Back then, growing up in Romania, credit cards and loans weren’t as common or as heavily advertised as they are now. It used to be much harder to get credit or take out a loan. And honestly, that probably saved me from getting into a worse situation in my twenties.

These days, though, it feels like constant bombardment — whether it’s on social media with “buy now, pay later” offers, or even through banking apps, sending notifications saying “you’re pre-qualified for a £17,000 loan.” It can be so tempting to see that as “free money.”

But in the long run, you end up paying far more than you have to. It can easily lead to making purchases you wouldn’t otherwise make. And for me, I decided that’s just not a path I want to go down. I’d much rather use the money I already have. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m quite a risk-averse person.

7. Shopping is not a hobby, and it’s not retail therapy. 

This is what I used to tell myself. And also, this is what I used to do all the time. 

Before having kids, my husband and I would often go on shopping sprees at weekends. Just heading to the mall and buying things. I wouldn’t even have anything specific in mind. It was more of a “go into the shop and wait for inspiration” approach.

And this led to a lot of purchases that didn’t really add much to my life — lots of clothes, shoes, and accessories that I didn’t truly need and hardly wore or used afterwards. In the end, they were a complete waste of money.

I think that when using shopping as retail therapy, thinking it will make you feel better about certain situations in your life, it only gives you a short-term dopamine hit — followed by an almost immediate drop. By the time you get home, that feeling is gone, and you might even feel worse than before. And the problem that made you want to go shopping in the first place is still there.

Even during difficult times, like when I was going through infertility, I did resort to shopping a lot. Did it make me feel better in the long run? No. It actually made my home more cluttered and left me feeling worse over time.

So I’ve learnt that I simply cannot use shopping to deal with my feelings. Instead, I have to find other ways to cope and take care of myself — like looking after my body, spending time in nature, or other forms of self-care. It might sound silly, but these things really do help far more than aimless shopping ever could. 

8. All the stuff in our homes used to be money. 

This is something I heard a lot when I first started my minimalism journey and began decluttering. It was really eye-opening. It made me realise how much money I had wasted on items I didn’t truly need. If I had really thought about it, I could have saved and used that money in other ways — for example, adding to our mortgage, saving for another holiday that year, or just putting it towards something more meaningful than the things cluttering my home.

9. Money doesn’t buy happiness in the way that we think.

Cars, luxury items, and things like that generally don’t add much more happiness than you already have in your life. 

However, I’ve found that money can provide peace of mind. Not through purchasing luxury items, but when it’s used to create a cushion to fall back on if something goes wrong. Which, let’s face it, eventually happens. Having those savings and an emergency fund can actually make you feel far more secure and mentally at ease than buying a new item ever could.

10. I feel like shopping when I’m bored or upset.

I’ve learnt about myself that when I’m bored, or when I have something I’m struggling with in my life, I tend to go online and scroll because it’s a quick dopamine hit. It makes me feel good in the moment. But does it make me feel good after? Absolutely no. 

Some statistics suggest that we tend to shop online on our phones at night — in the evenings after work, or once the kids are in bed. That’s when we’re tired, sometimes upset from the day, and in an emotional state, which often leads to purchases we wouldn’t make otherwise. 

So I try to catch myself when I feel the urge to buy something. I always give myself a bit of a cool-down period. I never buy on impulse. Instead, I put it on my wish list and wait at least a few days, or until the next morning, to make sure the purchase is something I genuinely want and not just an emotional reaction.

11. When we say yes to buying something, we’re saying no to something else. 

If I’m saying yes to buying a lots of new clothes this month, then I’m saying no to saving that money, or using it for a family holiday or to pay off the mortgage. This leads me to ask myself what’s truly most important and to make sure that the purchases I make are aligned with my values and goals.

12. Mortgage versus rent — which is better?

There’s always so much discussion about which is better, buying or renting. And for the longest time, we were also debating this because we’d been renting for quite a while. 

I’ve been listening to a lot of finance podcasts, like one by Nischa, and watching shows about money on Netflix, and they all say that sometimes renting can actually be better. I think, in the end, it really depends on each individual’s situation.

So generally, what they say is that if you rent, then you can invest the rest of the money. For example, if your rent is lower than what a monthly mortgage payment would be — then, in time, that might actually give you more. Technically, it would earn you more interest and add up to a larger sum than having a mortgage and owning a house.

But that only works if you actually invest the extra money you’re not spending on a mortgage while renting. That takes a lot of discipline and self-restraint to make sure you put that money into investments rather than spending it on random things you don’t really need.

That said, for us personally, the reason we decided to get a mortgage was that it’s a payment we have to make anyway. Whether it’s rent or a mortgage, it’s still a monthly payment. We have to pay for housing as we weren’t already owning a home.

Our train of thought was that with a mortgage, yes, we’re making those monthly payments. But at the end of it, the house actually belongs to us. Whereas if we’re renting for 20 years, that home will never be ours.

We also found that renting comes with a lot of uncertainty as a landlord might decide to sell or ask us to move out at any given time, there’s no way of knowing.

Then there’s the catchment area for schools. When we started looking at schools for our kids, we wanted to make sure we were settled near a school we actually wanted them to attend. Here in the UK, there’s a catchment area system, so we need to live close to the school we want our children to go to.

And there’s also the security of having a home that’s truly ours. We can decorate it, make changes, and really make it your own. With renting, we were often limited in what we could do.

That said, we did rent for quite a long time. We wanted to first get a feel for the area and see if it was somewhere we’d actually want to settle before buying. So I definitely think there’s a time and place for both renting and owning.

But what I’ve realised is that having a mortgage forces you to save for the future. When you’re renting and paying a bit less each month, it’s easy for that extra money to just get spent on things that don’t really benefit you long term. With a mortgage, those payments are like a built-in savings plan — they’re going towards something that, eventually, becomes yours.

13. Have an emergency fund.

Having an emergency fund has always been important to us and even more so in the past few years. We’ve always tried to keep at least six months’ worth of living costs saved up, just in case something unexpected happens. And it has definitely come in handy. My husband actually lost his job a few years ago. And while that was a stressful time, knowing we had that safety net made a huge difference. We didn’t have to panic — we knew we could keep things going for a while if we needed to.

It’s also been useful for those annoying surprise expenses that just pop up out of nowhere. Like last year, right before Christmas, our fuse box started melting — literally melting — and we had to replace the entire electrical system. That cost over £1,000. It’s never fun to spend money on things like that, but having those savings set aside made it way less stressful.

Sometimes it does feel like that emergency fund is just sitting there, doing nothing. But it gives us peace of mind when life throws something unexpected our way.

14. Decluttering makes you spend less.

I’ve also learnt that decluttering actually reduces spending — at least it did for me. And I’ve noticed the same thing with so many people I’ve talked to.

Once you start decluttering and you see all the things leaving your home, things that used to be money, it really hits you. You realise how much you’ve spent on items you didn’t truly need.

I think decluttering can feel like such a cleansing process. It brings so much clarity about what really matters to you.

Now, when I go to the shops, I’m not as easily tempted. For example, I decluttered a bunch of décor items that were just sitting around. I gave some away to neighbours and donated the rest. So when I see something similar in a store now, I don’t feel the urge to buy it again. I know it won’t be a good purchase, and it won’t bring real joy or value to my life. It might look cute on the shelf, but I don’t actually need it.

Decluttering has definitely helped me spend far less money than I used to. It’s also made me much more intentional about the things I do bring into my home.

15. Start investing.

We also started investing. And honestly, this is one of those things I feel like no one really teaches us, right? At least not when we were growing up. I’m not sure what it’s like now, but we never learnt about investing, interest rates, or even basic things like taxes at school. Then suddenly, we’re adults, out in the world, and expected to just know how to handle it all.

So, it took us a while to learn what investing actually is, how to do it safely, and what makes sense for us. But what we’ve realised is that it’s really important to just start. Even without thousands to invest, starting small and being consistent each month makes a big difference. Over time, the interest compounds, and the growth builds on itself every year.

These are some of the money lessons I’ve learnt in my 30s. If you’ve learnt something helpful about money along the way, I’d love to hear it so share it in the comments. Maybe we can make this a space where we learn from each other, because honestly, none of us were taught this stuff in school.